爱与死

黛安基顿A与伍迪艾伦B在这部里的对话和台词。


A：“假如上帝不存在，那么每个人都可以想干什么就干什么，那么，这样一来，有什么东西可以阻止你不去杀人呢？”
B：“杀人是不道德的。”
A：“道不道德是很主观的。”
B：“是啊，可主观性有其客观的一面。”
A：“从理性的感知体系看没有客观性。”
B：“感知本身是非理性的，它意味着迫在眉睫的事。”
A：“但是对任何系统的判断，或现象之间先验的关系，存在于任何理性的、或形而上学的、或至少是认知论上的，对一个抽象的经验主义的概念——诸如存在、或将要存在、或将要在事物内部发生、或与事物本身想联系——的矛盾之中。”
B：“是啊，这我说过许多遍了。”
A：“我们必须相信上帝。”

A: “爱就是一切，B。我希望能遇见某个男人，一起登上激情的高峰。某个能体现爱的三大要素的男人——智力上、精神上、肉体上。”
B: "嗯，我们当中这样的人可不多啊，不过，你的愿望可以实现的。"
A: "那么多女人轻易地就出卖了自己。
B: "我知道，可怜的人。"
A: "她们为金钱而结婚。"
B: "金钱！是啊，金钱。"
A: "但是，我跟你说，我会觉得，那仿佛是在浪费我的生命，如果我没有深深地爱上一个男人，一个具有令我尊敬的头脑，和在精神上与我相当的男人，他还与我有着同样的、对肉欲的激情所产生的难以抑制的贪恋，那简直让我发疯了。"
B: "你是个不可思议地复杂的女人。"
A: "我想你可以这么说：我一半是圣徒，一半是娼妓。" (I guess you can say me ‘half saint, half whole’.)



B: "看看他，如果我不杀了他，他就会把整个欧洲拖入战争。可是谋杀？苏格拉底会怎么说？所有的希腊人都是同性恋。天呐，他们的聚会一定疯狂极了。我打赌他们一定挤在克里特岛的一间房子里度过夏天.（一）苏格拉底是男人。（二）所有男人都会死。（三）所有男人都是苏格拉底。那就是说所有男人都是同性恋。我不是同性恋。当然有一次，几个哥萨克士兵朝我吹口哨。我碰巧拥有那样的体形，可以激发起两性的性趣。但是，你知道，有些男人是异性恋的，有些男人是双性恋的，而有些男人则根本对性毫无兴趣。你知道，他们就成了律师。"


A: "爱就是遭罪。为了避免遭罪，就不要去爱。但是这样一来又会因为没有爱而遭罪。因此，爱是遭罪，不爱也是遭罪，遭罪就是遭罪。要幸福就要去爱，要幸福于是就要遭罪，可是一遭罪又不觉得幸福。因此，要想不幸福就必须去爱，或因爱而遭罪，或因太多的幸福而遭罪……"

   To love is to suffer,
   To avoid suffering，
   one must not love.

   But then one suffers from not loving,
   therefore to love is to suffer,
   not to love is to suffer,
   to suffer is to suffer.

   To be happy is to love,
   to be happy then is to suffer,
   but then suffering makes one unhappy,.

   Therefore to be unhappy one must love,
   or love to suffer
   or suffer from to much happiness.

B: "问题是，我有没有从生命中学到什么东西？我只知道人类可以被分为两大块：心灵和肉体。心灵拥抱所有高尚的志趣，譬如诗歌和哲学，而肉体获得所有的乐趣。重要的事，我认为是不要痛苦失望。你知道，要是果真存在着上帝，我不认为他是个坏蛋。我想你最多可以说他基本上是个力不从心的家伙。不管怎么说，你知道，生命中有比死亡更糟糕的事。我是说你要是和一个保险推销员过过一个夜晚，你就很明白我的意思了。这里的关键是，我认为，不要把死亡看成是终结，更应该把它看成是一种非常有效的途径，可以用来削减你的开支。至于说到爱…呵……你知道，我还有什么好说的呢？不要计较你发生性关系的数量，重要的是质量。从另一方面来说，如果数量降到了每八个月一次以下的话，那么我肯定要仔细检查一下了。好了，我的故事差不多讲完了，朋友们。"

"The question is: have I learned anything about life? Only that... only that human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there IS a God, I don't think that He's evil. I think that the worst you can say about Him is that, basically, He's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death. I mean, if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean. The key here, I think, is to... to not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. Regarding love, heh, you know, what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that count. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Well, that's about it for me folks. Goodbye."

-1-
How I got into this predicament I'll never know. Absolutely incredible. To be executed for a crime I never committed. Of course, isn't all mankind in the same boat? Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed? The difference is that all men go eventually, but I go six o'clock tomorrow morning. I was supposed to go at five o'clock but I have a smart lawyer. Got leniency.

-2-
If I don't kill him he'll make war all through Europe. But murder... the most foul of all crimes. What would Socrates say? All those Greeks were homosexuals. Boy, they must have had some wild parties. I bet they all took a house together in Crete for the summer. A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. Heh... I'm not a homosexual. Once, some cossacks whistled at me. I happen to have the kind of body that excites both persuasions. You know, some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all, you know... they become lawyers.

-3-
Father: Remember that nice boy next door, Raskolnikov?
Boris: Yeah.
Father: He killed two ladies.
Boris: What a nasty story.
Father: Bobak told it to me. He heard it from one of the Karamazov brothers.
Boris: He must have been possessed.
Father: Well, he was a raw youth.
Boris: Raw youth, he was an idiot!
Father: He acted assaulted and injured.
Boris: I heard he was a gambler.
Father: You know, he could be your double!
Boris: Really, how novel.

-4-
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

-5-
The question is: have I learned anything about life? Only that... only that human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there IS a God, I don't think that He's evil. I think that the worst you can say about Him is that, basically, He's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death. I mean, if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean. The key here, I think, is to... to not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses. Regarding love, heh, you know, what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that count. It's the quality. On the other hand, if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Well, that's about it for me folks. Goodbye.